It’s 6 little words that I often hear when people are standing in the way of their own growth and achievements. By believing these words, it makes it easier to run away from making positive change in life and it usually goes hand-in-hand with doing the same self-sabotaging behaviour over, and over, and over. We’ve all been there, and I’m no exception, I’ve had my fair share of excuses to overcome and others I’m still working on. So I totally understand what it’s like being held back by certain negative self talk. Out of ALL the excuses I’ve heard, I think this one holds the most weight.
Ready to hear what it is?
“THAT’S JUST THE WAY I AM”
Well, I have some hard truths to share for anyone who find themselves believing that they are stuck being a certain “way”. I want to help you take back your power and design the values you want to live by.
Let’s start by acknowledging a few reasons why this statement should get tossed:
- NO that’s not just “the way you are”, that’s the way you choose to be everyday.
- By believing that you are a victim of the way you have “always been”, basically gets you off the hook of being accountable for your actions.
- It’s a dangerous excuse that gives you a free pass to continue any harmful habits you may have.
- It prevents you from designing the life you want and becoming the person you want.
- It’s surrendering yourself to your past instead of putting in the effort to control your present and create your future.
It’s one thing to recognize habits and tendencies that you are prone to or struggle with, but it’s quite another to give in to them and say (or more importantly, to think):
“oh well, I’m a procrastinator, but at least I KNOW that’s my problem, it’s okay that I continue to let procrastination run my life… because it’s just the way I am”.
“Yea maybe what I said was rude and hurtful, but I say what’s on my mind, that’s just the way I am.”
Ok, so using those examples… here are a few questions I think should be asked:
- Is procrastinating getting you closer to your goals or farther?
- Is being rude when you “speak your mind” improving your relationships or making them worse?
- How much are you willing to let that belief of being ‘stuck in that way’ cost you?
- Is the attachment to your habits more important than the commitment to your goals?
When it comes to making mistakes I don’t think we learn from them automatically, because if that was the case, it wouldn’t be so common to see the same mistakes being made over and over again. I believe the only way to really learn from our mistakes is from evaluating them and reflecting on our choices.
After making multiple, high impact changes in my life in under a year, it lead to my “quarter-life breakthrough” and I was able to launch my business and pursue my passion of helping other women do the same.
10 Steps To Break Up With Bad Habits:
- Stop thinking/saying “that’s just the way I am”
- Identify the habit/habits that you want to change
- Prioritize––What habit is affecting your life the MOST right NOW
- Write down what that habit is costing you
- Say it out loud
- Set a visual reminder
- Remember: Messing up doesn’t = giving up
- Start with small achievable steps
- Partner up for accountability (with a friend or coach)
- Reward yourself along the way
These are steps that I go into much more detail with in my Private Coaching Programs which are designed to empower creative women with a vision to make long lasting change in their life + business and accomplish their goals.
It doesn’t matter how old you are or how long you’ve been committed to being a certain way, the power still remains in YOU and what behaviours you choose to have on a daily basis. Is it easy to change? No, but it’s necessary and it’s worth it to challenge yourself into making continual progress towards your goals and become better than the person you were yesterday.
Just remember that it’s all a process, and it might take some experimenting to find the right system that works for you. The good news is that you don’t need to take this journey alone, and if you have questions, then feel free to leave a comment below or shoot me an email. I’ve always got your back and I’ll do my very best to help out in any way I can.
“Without continual growth and progress, such words as improvement,
achievement, and success have no meaning.”
– Benjamin Franklin
Megan Barker is a Business & Empowerment Coach for women entrepreneurs who want to make a positive income as well as a positive outcome on the world.
Megan helps these passionate, free-thinking women, transform their ideas into action, gain freedom over their time and clarity for their business mission.